Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

 

Rise of the Antriforce: Chap 1 by ~KnightOfModernDay:iconKnightOfModernDay:



Chapter 1: Loss

"Clouds, clouds and more clouds, why does it always have to be clouds!"

"I know… It’s been a while since we’ve seen the sun… The goddesses are sad, which makes our skies grey. I believe it is the King’s fault, since he’s making the people suffer."

The boy pondered then looked back to his mother.

"Mom? said the teen. Why aren't the goddesses helping us? They are almighty, no?"

Taken by surprise by this question, she replied.

"Link… Well… I’m not too sure, but your father might know... He's the expert with old legends... In any case, looks like we’ll get another storm tonight."

"I’m so tired of rain, it’s so boring."

Link, a young man of 16 years of age, was walking beside is mother on a snowy grey stone road, heading for his father’s shop in town. His mother's name is Sanju and she is a caring woman he has much affection for. He looked at her tired yet smiling face. He knew she was more beautiful than that. It was the dim light passing through the clouds that made her baggy eyes stand out. In these times, especially at the end of winter, everything was desolate and everyone felt the cruel reign of the King. Heavy taxes left close to nothing to the families surrounding Hyrule. Business at the store was slow but there were the usual clients. Most of who suffered from lack of sleep and food.
They arrived at the store and as they entered, the little bell tinkled.

"Welcome! Oh! Hi Honey! Hey Link!"

"Hey Dad!" Link said with a wave of the hand.

Sanju walked up to Kaffei and gave him a sweet kiss.

"We were worried."

"Oh, don’t worry about me Hun. It’s not like I’ll be kidnapped or anything..."

Kaffei paused. He took a deep breath, grabbed the counter with one hand and...

"Urk!"

His face twisted in pain, he grabbed his stomach and fell to his knees.

-Oh no! Not again… Link, get the medicine…

Link knew what was going on. For the past six months his father was having these cramps in the stomach. Ulcers the doctor named them. Of this small family, Kaffei was the thinnest. He rarely ate, even with Sanju’s protests; giving his meals to her and Link, since the crops died in the summer. This left the small reserves of food they had made the year before. As winter drew to its end, with snow still on the ground, most of the villagers were running out of food and sickness was starting to seep into the homes. Link opened a small cabinet and grabbed a small bottle from a nearby shelf.

"Here..."

"Thanks Link, you’re a great help..." Kaffei said weakly.

"If only the King, Sanju almost spat the name, wouldn’t be so greedy... Or even better, DEAD!"

Kaffei grabbed her shoulder while trying to stand up. He looked at her with a very serious expression.

"Don’t say those things… He said in a very serious manner. A spy might hear you… Some families have been denounced to the king by these cowards. The next day, they were imprisoned, so, watch your tongue."

"I-I’m sorry Kaffei; I should have refrained myself"

"Well, even if there was a spy I would make him fear my sword instead of the King!" Link said while unsheathing his blade.

"What have I taught you in swordsmanship, Link?"

A customer had brought a chair to Kaffei.

"Thank you Elias, see you tomorrow, may the gods be with you…" he whispered to the customer.

-That the sword will protect, not harm… Link replied in a monotonous voice. He had heard this over and over again.  His father wasn’t a soldier but he did know how to use a blade. He was a very chivalrous man."But if I want to protect the people, I could technically go and finish him..."

"You are not ready yet! Don't even try it, your no match for him! That is the man who conquered Hyrule, you underestimate him. And that is a mistake that costs you your life. And-"

His ears perked up. Link also listened for what caught his father's attention.
Hoof beats were heard in the town square. The rolling of four steel wheels on the rocky streets was also heard. That could only mean… the prison wagon. Sanju walked to the window and saw two guards step off the wagon; walking towards the store. She stepped back, eyes wide open…

"Mom? Link asked. What’s…?"

She turned to him, with tears in her fear-stricken eyes.

"Link, said Kaffei, go hide where I showed you, now!"

"But…, I'm not leaving you to fend for yourself, Dad. You're still weak from that ulcer..."

"Shut it! Go!"

Link scrambled to the basement and opened the secret door behind the shelves of lumber and hid in the room, which was a small space behind the wooden wall, and sat on the floor. As the guards knocked on the door, he could hear Sanju sobbing and Kaffei comforting her. Why couldn’t they have come with him? Moreover, why would he have to hide? They’ve never done anything wrong… He did train with the sword every day, but that isn’t a crime…or is it?
Link lost himself in his questions as he heard Kaffei whispering.

"Dry those tears Hun, we’ll be okay. Someone we know denounced us, but don’t worry, act natural, I’ll handle it."

"What could that mean?" Link thought.

"Mr Kaffei, we would like to speak with you." A voice said from behind the door.

His parents fell silent, he guessed that it was Kaffei’s footsteps going to the door and opening the door with his habitual welcome. Two new sets of footsteps, heavy from all the armour entered slowly.

"Mr Kaffei, an informant told the King that you and a couple of other men of the village were planning an uprising…"

"What?! How could that be true? Father’s the most peaceful man in this whole country!" Link yelled inwardly.

"Who told you that?" Kaffei asked calmly.

"We don’t share that information, sir. We are here to put you under arrest for treason to the King, and to ask you to give us the names of the others."

"What?! But he’s innocent!" Sanju’s voice was heard.

"Ma’am, we’ll need you to stay calm." Said the second soldier.

"So, all those meetings were for an uprising," Link thought. "But that meant father would be going to prison." He tightened his grip on his sword hilt. No way would he let those guards take his parents away. "Those bastards, they are the ones who are traitors to the people

"Where is your son, Ma’am?"

"At our house," Sanju murmured.

"We’ll have to go question him as well; he might be implicated," said the second to the first.

"No!" Sanju yelled as she slapped one of the guards. She clapped her hands to her mouth.

"Sanju!"

"Why you little wench!"

Two rapid, heavy steps made the floor creak, followed by the sound of a loud smack and of Sanju’s body falling to the floor.

"Sanju!" Kaffei stood up from his chair, making it topple over. How dare you hit a woman! You should be… Ooff!

The guard had punched Kaffei in the stomach. Kaffei fell down, right over Link, coughing heavily.

"Get them on the wagon; they are both traitors to the King. We’ll get their son too."

"No! Link!"

Link realized he was still under this scene. His heart was pounding; his eyes were wide and his mouth was agape. This is a total injustice, he thought, he just had to act. "That punch would only have worsened his father’s affliction."
Just before the guards closed the door, his mother screamed his name and he unconsciously yelled:

"NO!"

He clasped his hands to his mouth.

"Did you hear that?"

"Aw, crap... I just had to do that..." Link thought.

"Yeah, so your son is at home, right?"

"That’s what we said…"

-LIAR! The other one yelled. Link heard another harsh punch to his father.

The heavy footsteps walked in the room. Stopping on top of Link, the soldier listened for any sounds. Link’s heart was pounding so fast he feared the guard would hear it.

-There’s a basement in this shop…

Link’s eyes widened as the guard’s steps were heard coming down the stairs. The clanging of armour circled the room. Link couldn’t see anything except the dark wood separating him from the guard. His breathing came to a halt, as the metal gauntlet touched the wooden wall.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconknightofmodernday:

Author's Comments

Here it is, Chapter 1!

The setting is pretty dark, and it's going to be a tad different from other legends. No return of Ganondorf, nor Vaati, I promise you that... (It's about time we see new faces, no?)

Chapter 2 should come soon but exams might delay it some more. Surely the summer will give me time to write and draw...

Please let me know if there are things I could improve upon. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 2: [link]

EDIT: Ok, so I've corrected it, I hope everything is clearer...

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 1 1 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconcstarry7:
It's good. The content is good - and it's a nice short chapter for those who don't have time to read the daunting chapters with a billion words.

I have a few suggestions.

First of all - the named Sanju and Kaffei - are quite close to Anju and Kafei. Now, this is just my curiosity - are they supposed to mean something? Are they the ones from the majora's mask? If so - you have a bit of a plot line to work with - incorporating majora's mask etc. But..if not - it's fine. It was just quite similar.

Second, when a person speaks - it'd be easier for you to use quotation marks instead of the 'return' bar and a dash/hyphen. I got a little confused.

Third, you don't have to use the return so much - only between quotes - when changing from one person's speech to another (back and forth dialogue) You do that, but you don't need to double space. Like...do this: If anything is surrounded by (()) it's a comment.


"Dry those tears Hun, we’ll be okay. Someone we know denounced us, but don’t worry, act natural, I’ll handle it." ((Specify who is speaking here, you just kind of jumped to this quote I think))What could that mean? Link thought.

"Mr Kaffei, we would like to speak with you." A voice said from behind the door. His parents fell silent, he guessed that it was Kaffei’s footsteps going to the door and opening the door with his habitual welcome. Two new sets of footsteps, heavy from all the armor entered slowly. "Mr Kaffei, an informant told the King that you and a couple of other men of the village were planning an uprising…"

What?! How could that be true? Father’s the most peaceful man in this whole country! ((This is Link thinking, or Sanju? I'm guessing Link.))

"Who told you that?" Kaffei asked calmly.

"We don’t share that information, sir. We are here to put you under arrest for treason to the King, and to ask you to give us the names of the others."

"What?! But he’s innocent!" Sanju’s voice was heard.



There you go! I will read more when I can!
:iconknightofmodernday:
Sanju and Kaffei are just simple names I took, it doesn't mean anything...

Umm, I try to follow Link as much as possible so speech without a hyphen is "supposed" to be Link's thoughts. Sorry...

Alright, for chapter 3, I'll try your suggestions... Thanks for your help!

--
Marble is hard. But, by picking at it continuously, you eventually obtain a masterpiece.
-----
The Legend of Zelda: Rise of the Antriforce
Chap1:[link]
:iconcstarry7:
Ok no problem.

If you want to designate thoughts, use italics! :D

I am thinking
:iconkenya-chan:
I like how you broke this down.I suck

--
I am a member of the:

~KingdomHeartsFCs
~Sonic-OC-Domain
~ShadowLinkFanClub
:iconknightofmodernday:
Hey, don't get so down. It took me three tries before having a good scenario for the story, plus I revised this chapter too many times to count before finally posting it here.

Take your time...

--
Marble is hard. But, by picking at it continuously, you eventually obtain a masterpiece.
-----
The Legend of Zelda: Rise of the Antriforce
Chap1:[link]

Details

March 2, 2008
8.9 KB

Statistics

5
0
225 (0 today)
5 (0 today)

Site Map